Thursday, 30 June 2011
Time For Some Faceplanting Fun
One question: Why don't all of these psychos wear facemasks? Put on a friggin' football helmet you jackwagons. Pay attention!
Ninja Dog Has Mad Skills
Think a cat would be able to figure this shit out? No freakin' way. Now I understand that the one thing cats do well is climb, but no pussy is gonna figure out how to use that post for leverage. Not on your life. Only dogs can be ninjas.
New England Just Keeps Winning Titles - Connecticut Native Javier Colon Wins "The Voice"
Keep hatin' on us America, but this is how we roll. You got a title? You got a championship? We'll take that sucker, thank you very much. Playas play....
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
White House Party Crasher And Real Housewife Of D.C. Michaele Salahi Is A Mess
This chick is just batshit crazy. Fame whore to the hilt. Now she's tryin' to be a singer, releasing the piece-of-shit tune you can see below. Please leave my planet now, skankitty. Pay attention!
Meet The Breast Milk Spraying Chick
Got milk? Everyone was talking about this chick yesterday so here she is. Looks pretty normal. Just must be one of those chicks who can't hold her booze. Like if she wasn't squirtin' her titty juice everywhere she'd probably be stripping on top of a table or blowing five guys behind the reception hall. Come to think of it, call me.
Kate Upton's Boobs Bouncin' Everywhere In Bikinis
Man, I could watch those puppies jiggle all day. Thanks for the mammaries. Best rack in the business these days by far. The backyard is nothin' to sneeze at either. Chick is absolute straight fire. Here she is with nothing on but a little body paint:
UFO's Over London?
So is this shit real or not? I dunno, to me it just looks like some kinda balloon or somethin'. I'm just not gettin' it. I always figured if the aliens came here they'd let us know who they were. Like if we sent a spaceship to some other planet, would we just try and sneak around and be all secret about it? Hell no. The first thing we did when we got to the moon was plant an American flag in its ass. Nope, these aliens wouldn't be sneakin' around all over our planet for all these years. They'd plant their own flag and tell us they were here to dominate the shit out of us. It's fake. Pay attention!
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Jet-packs, Baby - JET-PACKS!
Now that's what I'm talkin' about. By the way, it's 2011 - weren't we all supposed to have jet-packs by now? Imean, aren't we all supposed to be flyin' to and from work like George Jetson, just jet-packin' our asses off all over the place? What's the problem? Somebody's gotta come up with a way to make these puppies affordable for everyone. Time's a-wastin' people. Pay attention!
Britney Spears Gives A Lapdance In Concert
Maybe the lamest lapdance of all time. If you're gonna grind on a dude as part of your show, give the people what they want. Start smushin' your ass and tits and boobs all over the place. THAT'S a lapdance. Wanna see how it's done? Check out the video we just posted before this one. That's talent in action. That's a professional at work givin' 110 percent. That's a five-tool player as opposed to a tool. All we know about you now is that you suck as a singer and you'd most definitely suck as a stripper. Two strikes, Brit - swing at anything that's close....
Hot Chick Doin' The Stripper Pole
If it doesn't do more than twitch, you're gay. I mean if Mr. Willy doesn't immediately move from six to twelve, you' gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you're gay. Pass the tissues....
Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler's Fiancee Kristin Cavallari In A String Bikini
Here we have your classic 5 foot 3 inch fame whore. Cutler must break this chick into pieces when he jumps those little bones. That's okay, he can't dominate on the football field so it probably is the only way he gets to feel like a big shot. Plant that little midget, J-Bone!
Monday, 27 June 2011
Badass Chihuahua
Dude must get more pussy than an animal shelter. Just cuttin' up the floor like a Mexican Hines Ward. Bitches must just beg to be humped by the pup with the moves. Hola senoritas!
Meet The Bruins' First Round Draft Choice
It may take hime a couple of years to crack the lineup of the Stanley Cup Champions, but everything I'm reading about this kid says he's pretty much a lock to be a top pair defenseman in the near future. Could it be that the Bruins' luck is changing?
His name is Doug Hamilton. He's 6 feet 4 inches, a Toronto native and NHL Scouting had him rated as the top defenseman in North America coming into the draft. This was the final piece left over from the Phil Kessel deal which just might go down as one of the great trades in B's history.
Shark Jumps Over Surfer
I can promise you this would absolutely, positively be my last ride. If you're lucky enough that the shark didn't take your head off, it's probably time to step away from the game. Bon voyage!
Friday, 24 June 2011
Drag Race - Dog Vs. Kid - Who Ya Got?
So earlier we had a dog rounding up chickens like a badass. Now we have evidence that these creatures not only can get a job done but they're competitive as hell. You thought Fido might lose this little challenge? Not on your life. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. All day every day.
Little Boss Man Rounds Up The Chickens
Think a freakin' cat could do this? Think again. Just one more reason why dogs are the greatest animals on the planet. Gettin' the job done whatever it takes.
Peyton Manning And Eli Manning Are "Football Cops"
Is there any commercial that Peyton Manning won't do? Seriously, Football Cops? I don't know about Eli, but Peyton has to be the biggest endorsement whore of all time. It's like you can't turn on the TV without seein' him schill for Oreos or Gatorade or Sony or some other product. And forget about it once football season starts. It's like watching the Peyton Manning show with a little football to interrupt things once in a while. Enough already. You got one ring and you choke more often than LeBron. Make it stop!
Thursday, 23 June 2011
You've Seen "Debbie Loves Cats" - Now Check Out "Debbie Loves Bacon"
Just in case you haven't seen the original eHarmony vid, here you go:
Hilarious. Now, we have the parody - BACON:
I'm thinking of makin' my own eHarmony video. I just can't decide between beer and pussy.
Hilarious. Now, we have the parody - BACON:
I'm thinking of makin' my own eHarmony video. I just can't decide between beer and pussy.
Married Middle School Teacher Who Gave Student A Blowjob In The Classroom Is Fired
Married Erin Baynard Stewart, 30, was yesterday fired from her social studies teaching job at Chauncey Rose Middle School, in Terre Haute, Indiana, after being accused of having relations with a 14-year-old boy. Stewart, who had worked at the school for six years, allegedly had four sexual encounters with the boy. She had oral sex with the student in her classroom in December 2009, while other encounters took place in Stewart's home, according to court documents. The now 15-year-old, who can not be named for legal reasons, was able to describe and draw sketches of the interior of the teacher's home, Terre Haute Police Detective, Rick Decker, said. Vigo County School Superintendent Danny Tanoos called the charges 'disappointing' 'heart-breaking' and 'tragic' at a recent news conference. 'It breaks the trust, that bond that we have and that code of ethics that we have as educators. And so once that’s broken, it’s hard to sometimes regain that trust,' he added. Stewart has pleaded not guilty to two counts of sexual misconduct with a minor. She is currently out on $75,000 bond stumped up by her parents. Her trial will start in October. Yesterday's official termination of Stewart's contract is a formality. She had already given up her teaching licence and had not been paid since.
This chick is one of the ugliest sex-scandal teachers I've seen in a long time. I mean I can't even see how the kid was turned on. She's gotta tip the scales at around 300 lbs. and has that greasy/frizzy hair thing goin' on. Don't think I'd want that face anywhere near my junk. I figure the only reason she's bangin' 14-year-olds is that she can't get any adult with 20/20 vision to throw it in her. I guess she's married, but he must be the happiest guy on the planet right now. He's probably been tryin' to figure out how to dump this wench for years. Good news, bro - wifey's now gonna be bangin' fat lesbians in prison. Happy days!
